Creative Rebellion Essays: Community and connection in the Zoom age
Goldfinches on a nyjer seed sock – photo by JC Caldwell
“Ah man, let’s just do an old-fashioned phone call,” my screenwriter friend, Chris, said to me when we were coordinating a catch up. “I’m burned out from Zoom and Facetime. At least I can multitask if we do a call, rather than being stuck to a screen.”
Like many of us, I had rarely used my iPhone as an actual telephone for years. But I found that it was oddly more intimate than video conferencing; audio by itself seemed to provide a connection that was closer to being, physically, in the same room with someone. Audio felt warmer, the way that audiobooks and podcasts can literally get into your head.
I had assumed (and hoped) that video calls would bridge the divide during the pandemic, and for the most part it did the job. But the price was that I was on Zoom nonstop. I finally got a standing desk (my back and shoulders were in a constant state of tension) but my eyes began to blur from staring at a screen so much.
What was missing? The back-to-back Zoom calls didn’t allow for any kind of break in the rhythm. I barely had time for a bio-break between calls. What was missing were the breaks: the ability to step away from the computer at work, hallway conversations, the office kitchen and walks to the coffee shop. For me, I had spent my lunch hour at the gym and now that was gone. (However, as I mentioned in my last essay, I’m now doing standup paddleboarding early in the mornings).
Humans are social beings. We need to be in the presence of others. We need community and we need to connect. Being together, physically, allows us to communicate in ways beyond the confines of the computer screen. There have been studies that indicate that somewhere between 70 to 93% of all communication is nonverbal. We notice everything: how physically close someone is to you while they speak; microexpressions (your words may be saying one thing but your face could be saying something else); posture; vocal tone. I’m speculating but I would assume how someone smells affects us as well – the unconscious mind may pick up the scent of stress. We are visual and tactile creatures and ultimately animals so we notice what is unsaid as much as what is stated.
When we came out of the lockdown, it took a moment to get used to being around other people. My daughter took a summer job this year, prior to starting college, at La Chingona Tacos (“Chingona” = “Badass” in Spanish) in Topanga and we ended up eating there a few times a week. It’s an outdoor pop-up restaurant that endorses the wearing of masks. They set up in a parking lot of a real estate company, with tables covered with multi-colored Mexican blankets and portable red chairs. The food is organic, gluten and dairy-free with handmade tortillas, all overseen by Adriana Lemus, the gregarious and talented proprietress with blonde dreads and a love for reggae. There’s often live music, lots of pets and barefoot children running around laughing and playing freely while parents commune. What all this does is bring the local community together. We get to know each other, like a village, and there is a feeling of being in the same space, eating the same food, that is impossible to replicate digitally for now.
Perhaps with the advancements in VR (virtual reality) it will be possible to create community digitally but we are some years away from that. I wonder if VR will ever be able to accurately replicate the aroma of chicken tacos and plantains.
I walked around my backyard as Chris and I finished our semi-weekly phone call. Alone again, as are many of us who are working at home. At least my shoulders and eyes didn’t ache. After we hung up I spent some time looking at the birds that congregate around the seed my wife leaves out for them. We have skittish and loud Scrub jays who are always the first to arrive, surprisingly aggressive hummingbirds that zip around my face, very shy and sweet little yellow Goldfinches that gather in large clusters on the nyjer seed sock, the Oak Titmouse that sport David Bowie mohawks and grab one seed before flitting off, large Mourning Doves who always arrive in pairs and brown Californian Towhees who seem to be unconcerned about my presence as they step over my feet to get to a sunflower seed. All of them busy. Like us. Again we aren’t that different from them.
A community of birds surrounded me and it felt like I was connected to them. Connected a bit more to nature than my laptop.
For now.
John
What I’m reading:
The Persuasive Actor: Rhetorical Power on the Contemporary Stage – In July, I attended a one-day seminar, “Verbal Power on the Shakespearean Stage” by author, Milan Dragicevich, a Professor of Performance at Amherst, and was blown away by his insight into rhetoric and its influence on acting. His book is a deeper dive into the the ancient techniques that are still extremely relevant for modern day actors and public speakers. Many of these techniques have been lost with the rise of the naturalism of Method Acting but they are still vital arrows to have in your quiver.
What I’m watching:
The White Lotus – This HBO Max series by the talented writer-director-creator Mike White didn’t actually appeal to me at first. I watched the pilot and wasn’t taken in but a friend of mine said that I should give it another chance so I did and was glad I did. It’s a really great study of social class, family dynamics with wonderfully written characters.
Raised by Wolves – Another HBO Max original directed by the great Ridley Scott (2 episodes) and created by Aaron Guzikowski. It’s visually stylish and has androids, exotic planets, and spaceships. At its core is about the divide between secular and religious thinking. Check it out.
What I’m listening to:
Happier Than Ever – The latest album by Billie Eilish. This artist is on constant rotation at my home as my daughter is arguably her biggest fan. This album is more personal and delves into her insecurities and fears on a deeper level than previous records. I’ve been a fan since I took my daughter to see Billie at the Greek Theater pre-pandemic and she, and her brother Finneas, were brilliant.
Long Lost – The latest album by Lord Huron. If you’re a fan of Fleet Foxes, My Morning Jacket and old school sounds for modern times, then this is something you should check out. This LA based band really feels new and familiar at the same time; future-nostalgia.
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