How about now? Now is a good time.
There’s a running joke in my family. Whenever we talk about what we want to do someday, the response tends to be “How about now? Now is a good time.”
If you want to have an impact, now is always the time to:
Make music
Write a book
Learn Italian
Change the world
As a memento mori, reminding me that time is truly the most valuable commodity, several people who were part of my childhood through adulthood recently passed but musicians always have a special place in my heart. David Bowie, Prince and now Ric Ocasek, lead singer and writer for the seminal American new wave band The Cars who passed on September 15th at the age of 75, which admittedly is pretty long for a rock and roller.
Ric Ocasek and The Cars were the soundtrack to my early teens. Right before I discovered Joy Division, Bauhaus, The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees, there was the proto-New Wave mystery and understated coolness of “Don’t Cha Stop.”
There was something about driving at night, the hot Texas wind blasting through the open window, the driving drums keeping time with the looming cement overpasses and faceless strip malls on the I-30 to Dallas as the stereo thumped, the crappy speakers fuzzy and tinny. The Cars went on to develop a much more poppy, MTV-friendly sound over time but when I saw them perform live on the Heartbeat City tour, in Dallas at Reunion Arena, I was blown away by how cool they were on stage – Ric Ocasek barely moved from stage left the entire show; an incredibly tall and skinny presence, sunglasses and jet black hair. His restraint was the opposite of the frenetic spit and beer bottles ethos of punk; his expression was contained yet revealing in its understated nuance. In that moment, I understood that there was power, artistry and mystery in the imperceptible but implicit.
They made an impact. On me. And from all the tributes I’m hearing on the radio, on thousands. And that’s what’s important in life: Making a positive, creative impact on our co-travelers as we hurl through the infinite universe on this powerful but delicate, spaceship Earth.
“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
― Steve Jobs
I often get asked, How do you find the time to write, paint, workout, spend time with your family and hold down a demanding fulltime job? I reply that if not now, when? I won’t do any of this when I’m retired if I don’t start now. I’m not going to suddenly take up the guitar (well, I could) and be any good at it if I don’t start strumming on it now. It’s too much pressure to go from zero to all-in for most people. Especially after 65. So, it’s important to do it now. Like right now.
The whole there’s-an-expiration date notion really got me down when I was in my teenage years leading through to my late 20s. I read a lot of Camus and Sartre at the time and that didn’t help things – it just led to a kind of existential, nothing-means-anything-anyway malaise. Being very empirical by nature, I found that anything that required blind faith didn’t work for me so organized religion was out of the question. What finally made some sense to me was a book called Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Suzuki Shunryū. Before all of the self-help books in the genre of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Suzuki had popularized Sōtō Zen in the US via the establishment of the San Francisco Zen Center and the very sensible notion that if you simply calm your mind from all of the insane thoughts that run rampant within your cranium, that things will be natural and clear. And you did this by practicing Zazen, otherwise known as sitting. Sitting and breathing and counting your breaths as you breathe. Crazily simple. Really hard to do. Especially in this age of constant distraction.
The more secular flavor of Zazen is called Mindfulness Meditation, as popularized by Jon Kabat-Zinn, and now you can use apps like Headspace and Sam Harris’ Waking Up.
Learning how to simply be in the present took care of a lot of the existential angst. And being present allowed me to be more productive. I wasn’t stuck in the fog of regret from past experiences or the anxiety of projecting forward what could go wrong based upon the murk of past experiences; both of these states are not real – they are illusions that we cling to for no apparent reason other than concern for preserving the present, even though we aren’t actually experiencing the present. We are concerned about finances because money is what allows us to keep the present as it is. I have to occasionally rewatch George Carlin’s rant on stuff to re-remind me that it’s all just...stuff.
If Zen was my influence from the East, then stoicism was my influence from the West. Tim Ferris and a slew of influencers have podcast and published oodles of books on stoicism already so I won’t go on about it too much. However, I will say that Seneca’s writings are probably the best things to read if you need a kick in the ass. On The Shortness of Life by Seneca is an excellent meditation (via letters) on what is important in life. Ironically, the man who claimed we didn’t need all the “stuff” we have was one of the richest men of his time in ancient Rome. However, the Zen sensibility in me sees no contradiction in this (I’ve found that Zen is inherently humorous and sees the absurd in everything and embraces it).
In the end, I’ve found that there is no point in panicking or getting depressed or ignoring the inevitable. The point being, no one on their deathbed ever felt remorse for what they did as much as they regretted what they did not do. They regretted what limitations they put on themselves. What limitations they allowed society, family, work, and well-meaning friends to put on them. Being defined by others.
We are in a pivotable time in history. Whatever your political affiliations and beliefs, fact is fact: climate change is happening. Science cares not a whit for opinions; the ice caps are melting and the Amazon is ablaze. This past Friday was the Global climate strike, a movement ignited by Greta Thunberg, a courageous 16-year old Swedish student who decided to do something impactful and positive now. My daughter goes to an amazing school and the students organized a march in Santa Monica that culminated at Santa Monica College, where KCRW conducted an interview with them that aired on NPR (National Public Radio). My wife and I are very proud of her -- it’s her generation that will hopefully undo the damage that her predecessors have wreaked.
When you feel that there is an itch that needs to be scratched that is beyond the usual parameters that you’ve set for yourself, consider this:
How about now? Now is a good time.
And remember: Don’t Cha Stop.
John
I’m listening to:
The Moth podcast. I just love the rawness, vulnerability and realness of these true-life stories.
Piano and Microphone -- Prince, recorded in 1983. A series of home recordings on the piano that allow us to hear the genius musician as he worked his way through various early sketches of “Purple Rain,” “Strange Relationship” and others.
The Cars -- seminal first album. Ric Ocasek and team at the top of their game.
What I’m reading:
The Moth Presents: All These Wonders -- a compilation of true stories about facing the unknown, with an introduction by Neil Gaiman
