Creative Rebellion Essays: Fear of commitment
Commitment is required before you first apply paint to the blank canvas — John S. Couch
We’ve all heard of FOMO (fear of missing out), which in part drives the obsessiveness we have with social media as well as push notifications from your news outlet of choice. However, I feel that another, more common variant of this is fear of commitment.
I spoke with a smart, young businessman yesterday about a subject I cover in my book, The Art of Creative Rebellion, about doing something creative beyond your day job. And in the course of our conversation, he mentioned that his biggest challenge was commitment. He felt that committing to doing one thing would inevitably exclude him from other opportunities – the classic grass is always greener syndrome.
I pointed out that everyone has commitment issues. Whether it’s a new job, working out or a fresh relationship, there’s always a mixture of excitement and trepidation. In a new relationship, the question can arise, Is this the one? It sure feels like it but what if there’s more out there? Am I limiting my options? Is she/he my true soulmate?
This mentality also leaks into our inability to focus and hampers our ability to master anything. Quantity begets quality; the more you do of a thing, the better you become. How many projects have you started and left half-finished? That book idea. That stage play you were going to write. The business plan for your own venture? That language you always wished you could speak?
There are many reasons we start things with gusto and then peter out. Life itself gets in the way. You are tired. You are sick. You have financial concerns. Your focus shifts. But I find that more often than not, projects peter out because of lack of commitment.
I suffered from the distraction of shiny-object-syndrome for much of my life. I found, and still find, so many things of interest. The list of what I’d like to accomplish and do in my life is enormous. I don’t think I’m unusual in this regard. And, historically, I would start on something and then abandon it after a period of time, usually because something that seemed more exciting in the moment took over my focus. Ultimately what happens is that a combination of thinly dipping into many subjects left me well-informed but not truly expert at any of them.
What I told the young businessman mentioned at the beginning of this article is that I learned years ago that the mastery of one thing leads to the mastery of all things. It’s counter-intuitive but truly focusing on becoming good at any one thing can open the floodgates to mastering other disciplines.
“To know ten thousand things, know one well”
― Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy
Miyamoto Musashi (1584-1645) was arguably Japan’s most famous and renowned samurai. His life story has been the subject of countless plays, books, manga, movies and TV series. He wrote The Book of Five Rings (五輪の書, Go Rin No Sho), a book of strategic thinking written through the lens of a warrior.
His quote above wasn’t just a breezy aphorism: Musashi was also a brilliant writer, artisan, and visual artist. Much like truly learning a second language, the next one comes easier as you have learned the way to learn. Going deep on one or two things daily will inevitably allow you to become more proficient in other areas of your life.
I made a commitment to write daily. So I write this essay weekly. I also work on fiction and nonfiction books every morning. And by doing so, I find that I not only feel more centered when it comes to focusing on my day job, I find that my ability to make artwork in the evenings has also increased. I don’t second-guess myself. I let the work just come out and it is what it is. I know, again, that if I continue with my commitment to the work, that it will come out poorly at times (that’s unavoidable) but by doing it daily, and doing a lot of it, that over time, more decent stuff will inevitably show up. The trick is to not react too strongly to either the bad work or good work. Your job is to commit, habituate, and stay in a state of flow. Good stuff will just show up if you do so.
Ah but to make things that much more challenging, life will inevitably test you on your commitments. When you commit to writing that book, screenplay or making that film, designing that new business venture or finally learning the guitar or piano, you will be assailed by what Steven Pressfield so famously coined as “Resistance.” Things will get in the way. Your time will be sucked away by life (water heater explodes; work emergencies, a nasty cold). And probably most commonly experienced is the feeling that what you are doing is somehow selfish. That you should be spending time elsewhere, making money, or with friends and family. You are probably already making money (or trying to) and spending time with those close to you. But every great endeavor requires you to dig on your reserves of energy. Truly creating and bringing something new into the world is incredibly hard work. It’s hard and isolating as no one knows the depths you have to go through somedays just to get one line written or one concept crystalized in your executive overview for that new feature product proposal that you know will change the world. It’s isolating and that’s partly why, I believe, most people give up on committing – instinctively we all know that the road will be lonely.
The upside is that once you get through the resistance and enter the state of flow, the work starts to take on its own life. And at this point, the more you can emotionally distance yourself from the end product, the better. The focus needs to be to stay in the state of flow, whether you are designing, writing, doing a Zoom call or doing the dishes. The work will then start to fend for itself and open up avenues.
At the end of the conversation with the young businessman, he thanked me for the advice and that it came right when he needed it. I think that we all can use reminders that doing anything worthwhile is initially difficult but if you stick with it, you will inevitably come out the other side.
You just have to commit and then make it a habit; whatever it is you committed to, do it daily.
“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)
John
Podcast:
The charismatic and insightful Charles Day interviewed me for his “Fearless” Podcast, which you can find HERE. The introductory text is below.
Episode 218: John S. Couch
Hi. I’m Charles Day. I work with creative and innovative companies. I coach and advise their leaders to help them maximize their impact and their business.
This episode is part of Season 2 - which we’ve sub-titled, “Leading In The Time Of Virus”.
Today, leadership requires that you meet the challenges of two viruses - COVID-19 and racism.
In this environment, unlocking creative thinking has never been more valuable or essential.
John Couch is the VP of Product Design at Hulu and author of “The Art of Creative Rebellion: How to champion creativity, change culture and save your soul”.
He is also the child of an interracial marriage, at a time when interracial marriages were illegal.
He has suffered prejudice from both sides of his ancestry. And he has emerged, thoughtful, philosophical and committed to making a lasting difference.
What I’m watching:
Bruce Lee 30 for 30: Be Water – a film by Bao Nguyen is a fantastic documentary about the iconic martial artist that separates myth from fact. Super inspirational as Lee was the first on-screen actor that I could relate to as a child – he was Asian and he bridged East and West.
Have a Good Trip – this fun documentary covers the stories of celebrities Anthony Bourdain, Carrie Fisher, Ben Stiller, Sting, Sarah Silverman, Rosie Perez and their various and oftentimes hysterically funny experiences with LSD. It also covers the history of the misunderstood and often maligned hallucinogen and how modern studies have shown its effectiveness in dealing with trauma and other psychological issues.
Jeff Lynne’s ELO – Wembley or Bust – yes, the Electric Light Orchestra is in full force under Jeff Lynne’s meticulous direction. His songs remain timeless and it was fun to observe the multi camera cutaway shots of the somewhat geriatric audience clapping and singing along, word for word, to Turn to Stone and Telephone Line.
What I’m reading:
Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t – by Steven Pressfield. Really fantastic book with pithy, no-nonsense advice on how to make it not only as a writer (fiction or nonfiction novelist or screenwriter) but also how to make a living as a creative person.
Please visit my website to sign up for my blog/newsletter as well as downloading the first chapter from my book, The Art of Creative Rebellion.
If you like what you are reading, please order The Art of Creative Rebellion, in stores. On Audiobook and Kindle.