Creative Rebellion Essays: Keep on keeping on
“UNITY” — Japanese synthetic polymer on canvas. Photo by JC Caldwell
There is every reason in the world not to do something creative and for yourself: you have to do the day job, you have to make money, you have to take care of the kids, you have to spend time with your spouse. All good and worthwhile things. And there will be more reasons not to allow yourself time to create.
We are exhausted. These are strange days. We are stressed. And you should allow yourself time to process what’s going on. We are working from home, social-distancing, dealing with a pandemic while worrying about how to make ends meet. And we are in the midst of a powerful social upheaval of uprisings against long-standing racial injustice while dealing with a politically strife environment, in a divided country.
These times aren’t normal.
It’s okay to feel terrible.
But don’t stay there.
Movement is life. Stagnation is death. And even though it can feel like a hard slog, ultimately pushing through the resistance and making something pulls me out of the darkness. At the end of the workday, the last thing I want to be doing is what I’m doing right now – writing. The very thought of writing makes me sleepy. I’d prefer to take a nap. Maybe watch a movie.
And then I recall a letter that Nick Cave, the brilliant musician and author, wrote to a fan:
“Sit down. Be yourself. Be prepared. Be attentive. Defy the voices. Be the thing you want to be. Write. Be playful. Be reckless. Remember that you are uniquely designed for the idea that is moving toward you. You are good enough. The idea is about to arrive.”
So, I sit down. And wait. And then I think about obstacles. What are my obstacles? For example, I’m making a series of paintings that I’ve titled “Chuushin (中心)” which is Japanese for “The Center.” The kanji (characters) are comprised of center (中) and heart (心). Interestingly enough it’s not often used in a poetic manner – in a sentence it’s often used like “You could argue that Paris is the center of culture.” But I think it makes sense for what I’m doing.
The works are 6’ x 4’ abstractions on canvas, using Japanese synthetic polymer paint. I’m using a massive brush imported from China for the final stroke. The work is a synthesis of Japanese and American traditions – influences range from sumi-e as well as traces of inspiration from the works of Agnes Martin, Franz Kline, Willem De Kooning, Ad Rheinhardt and Christopher Wool can be seen, if one squints hard enough. But ultimately the artwork makes itself. The artist is just a transmitter for the final product, which is itself just a memory, an artifact from the process of making the work; of being in a state of flow.
As I try to channel my feelings about what’s happening in the world, I found that figuration didn’t work for me but conceptual abstraction did. For me, what’s happening can’t be captured in representation and literalism. Much like the abstraction of music, the works record the state of being as the paint is being applied to canvas. A hesitant stroke reflects a hesitant mind. A confident stroke, a confident mind. The paint literally records the state of the artist in the moment, crystallizing it for posterity, for better or worse.
Each painting has a square in the center of different colors. This was a suggestion from my wife, JC, who is my creative collaborator and producer. She recommended that the works have a center of focus, of calm, around which the turbulence of strokes and color can swirl. Hence, the name: “The Center.”
So here’s the resistance: my canvas maker is running behind because she’s running short on wood for the supports. My US paint supplier is discontinuing the particular Japanese paint I use so I had to negotiate with him and the Japanese manufacturer to specifically allow me to order more paint. The good news is that I’ll be able to get more paint. The bad news is that it will take a lot longer to get to me.
My wife has also generously converted our living room into a makeshift painting and production studio. And since I tend to sling paint around, we have covered everything up around the perimeter with tarp and plastic. What could have been more resistance turned into empowerment – it’s essential that you have the consent and cooperation of your loved ones and family members when creating or else it can turn into an uphill battle. More reasons not to do the work. More resistance.
And at night, when I paint, I’m sure I’ll feel the tug of doing something else. Even doing more (day job) work is a temptation. But once I put on my old paint-spattered apron, play some music over the speakers, and lay down the first brushstroke on a new or old canvas, my fatigue dissipates. The hours go by and the energy actually builds.
I’m less tired now than I was when I first sat down to write this. Much like painting, the very act of writing has awakened me. And that’s often the question I ask myself whenever I feel the fog and haze of sadness, frustration and exhaustion hit me – am I awake?
I’m awake now. And I hope you are too. These times require it.
Just keep on keeping on.
John
What I’m watching:
8:46 – A must-watch commentary on what’s going on right now in the world by Dave Chappelle. Less comedic and more of a wake-up call. It’s powerful and raw. A reflection of these times.
13th – the brilliant documentary by Ava DuVernay on the repercussions of the 13th amendment which traces the direct route of slavery in the United States and its continuance into the current prison industrial complex. Watched this with my wife and daughter and even though the film is four years old, it’s subject is more relevant than ever.
Adobe 99u Conference:
I was invited to do a Master Class for this wonderful conference. You can see my class here. Or watch it below:
Podcast:
Here’s a conversation I recently had with the brilliant Joe Jackman, author of The Reinventionist, a book I highly recommend.
Here’s the link: https://www.joejackman.com/the-reinventionists-podcast
Join Founder and CEO Joe Jackman as he chats with Hulu’s VP of Product Design and author of The Art of Creative Rebellion—John S. Couch. Together, they explore how embracing uncertainty can lead to remarkable change, the importance of pursuing your passion and what ultimately needs reinvention today. Get all the insights from one of today’s leading creative minds.
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